Woman on Top

PERVERTS!

I am talking about my career!  For any of you who have known me for any length of time, you know that I have ridden the proverbial rollercoaster with my current (and previous) position. 



Eat... My... Shorts.

 I have always been in sales, and with that comes a natural attitude and occasional problem with authority.  I have been fired a few times.  Layed off (not in a good way), and I have had "mutual" splits.  In my egotistical mind, "mutual" is me saying to hell with it when my employer hinted that I better get serious or get serious elsewhere.

This month has been a fabulous month for me professionally.  I have said thanks for my job at least 20 times this month, just because I wanted to burn the place down in the past and leave in a ball of fury.  Then of course, it would have been like a couple of other positions and I would never have admitted it- but held a grudge from afar just so I wouldn't have to take responsibility for my actions.  Instead, I talked myself into "sticking it out" and it has come to this....my life might be changing.  I have made multiple power moves in the last six months that have finally materialized into corporate relationships.  I landed the largest homecare company on a HUGE contract, for which a portion has already been paid.  Here is what I plan to do with my first commission check of substance:

• Scooter Service
• New Side Mirror/Blinker for my Scootie
• Visit to the eye doctor and new glasses (mine are five years old and have been sat upon at least 5 times)
• I'm am getting a bank account!  PLUS SAVINGS!!  I know...I'm impressive
• Replacement cell phone (if I am going to keep paying for the iphone plan I want the phone)
• I have two gifts that I need to get for my someone special but he is a regular reader...sorry beeb
• Then...if there is anything left over- I might just get a Pillow Top (I even have a BB&B coupon!)

So...about the whole "woman on top" thing...I am used to losing (sales term for not making as much revenue) to the men that I work with.  This has been classic across the board.  I was a heavy hitter, contender when I was working in Insurance, but I worked for the love of my life and would do anything he asked.  I worked to make him proud...

Now, I am not only beating my fellow Representatives, but I am beating the director of national accounts, whose title I have chosen not to capitalize because I am a lousy stinking winner :)

I better revel in it now, because if he catches back up next month then who will have egg on her face?!

Please leave comments with all of your congratulations...HA!



Matt & Kim

"and in the daylight we can hitchhike to maine
i hope that someday i’ll see without these frames
and in the daylight i don’t pick up my phone
cause in the daylight anywhere feels like home"



I have never been to a show with the kind of energy that Matt & Kim bring to the table.  I have read a lot of reviews on their act, and conclude that haters will always be just that....HATERS!  Kim has a smile plastered on her face through the whole show.  Only two minutes in, and I was asking my guy if he too thought she was a Cheerleader in a former life.   Matt is equally enthusiastic, but there is something about Kim that just gets ya.  I have never seen two people make that much noise, throwing balloons for everyone to fill and bounce around, making the men take off their shirts and helicopter them over everyones' heads...what a SHOW!  Kim spent just as much time standing on her Bass as she did beating it up.  They rallied their fans throughout the entire show, and kept the energy max'd out.

I wore heels (of course) so my legs were screaming by the end of the show, but I could not help but smile through my exhaustion at the pure excitement of the concert.  It is even more special since they love Denver so much...Kanooty told us we'd love it, and we are still talking about it.  GO SEE MATT & KIM!



I did it! I turned 26!!

It has been far too long since I've updated, so the details will likely be scattered!

Knooty took HE and I out for HIS birthday.  We stayed out all night long laughing, drinking and looking at the beautiful Denver skyline from Knooty's apartment at Brooks.  HIS 34th birthday was a blessing, and to have the people we love around us only enhanced the birthday experience.  May I just say, I LOVE DENVER?!

For my birthday (3 days later) we stopped into the Meadowlark where HE was met by an array of talented artists painting live for a recurring Sunday event.  I could not keep him in my company- he was way too excited to paint!  He painted a beautiful peacock that I have put on the wall in our bedroom.

The next week, we took the kiddos to the Zoo with Lynsey and Josh- what a fun day!  We showed up bright and early on a Saturday to beat the crowds. The animals were all in rare form.  The gazelle was standing on his hind legs, the bears were fighting, and swimming and roaring and it was quite the spectacle!  HE joked that the animals must have had a meeting that morning, where the zoo keepers told them that admissions were down and they really needed to perform or be out of a job.  So funny!  We went to a crawfish boil later that night...kind of ironic now that I think of it.

Last Friday we went to RadRocks for a 180 Ministries benefit featuring DJ Vajra and Brian Head Welch formerly of Korn.  His testimony was amazing.  He has been through a lot of things that dwarf my "wild days" and make me feel like a saint.  I am so proud to belong to a loving, forgiving God.  He certainly can redeem anyone!

Last night, as usual was supposed to be an early night.  Met with E to have a cocktail for her birthday and it turned into an all nighter with the wonderful Jed Kopp, Rev Jim Norris and the girls at Three Kings.  I woke up wondering to myself, "How am I going to make it through the Matt & Kim concert tonight?"

....I'll let you know ;)

Schatzi

Needle in a Haystack

I have recently volunteered to help my family find a new nanny, so far we've been unsuccessful, here is my new post:

My family is looking for a very special individual. We have had many inquiries. Most individuals who have chosen not to pursue the opportunity realize that it is much to far from the city, and are looking for a different kind of position.

We are seeking a person who loves children who can help watch over my six year old brother.

My step-father is in a public elected position and must travel often to see constituents (very boring for a six year old) and my mother works days for the state, but that changes in the winter due to weather. They have a large home in a small town, located just three miles from a cattle ranch that they also run. It is on a river, located less than an hour from Winter Park, Sol Vista, and for an additional hour of driving you can find yourself in Steamboat Springs or Summit County. The town is small, there is no "scene", you won't find an abundance of Democrats, birkenstocks, bars, vegetarians, or "spiritual" people. They are a Christian, Republican, gun-owning, cattle ranching family seeking someone who wants to integrate into their family.

They are not seeking a maid, but rather an active participant to help with my brother and clean up after themselves. There are two rooms that you can choose from depending on whether you prefer a second floor or basement apartment. You will have your own bathroom and access to an office where there is high speed internet. Also, you will be welcome to use the rest of the house as if it were your own. That being said, we expect that this individual has pride of ownership, and keeps their space clean and respectable. My family needs help, they do not need someone to clean up after.

As Christians, we live by the motto "Let your yes be yes, and your no be no", we expect disclosure, honesty, and integrity. You will receive these things in reciprocated kind from us. I live in the city, and cannot move due to my career, but can say that the opportunity is unlike any that you will find, with potential for a long-term home. My family is extremely loving, and they have a close group of friends. There is even a little girl next door who might need occasional sitting, which would provide additional income if you are interested in taking on extra tasks. There might even be opportunity to help on the Ranch, but this is not a ranch hand position.

This is not a position where we are seeking a house manager. We do not need an educator, a chef, a handyman (though any skills you possess that would be of benefit would be very helpful), or any young girls that are escaping bad situations or leaving home for the first time. We are seeking an individual who knows who they are, knows what they want and enjoys the outdoors and has a passion for children. You will not become rich from this position, as we are not rich. We can afford to house and feed an active family participant, and afford a stipend for your work in addition to working with part-time schedules (should you want to find a local job for other stimulation) and as mentioned previously- opportunity to help with Ranch tasks, or babysitting the neighbor girl. First priority, however, should be my brother.

Maybe this is impossible, and there isn't anyone out there that would be a good fit- but faith tells me that just isn't the case. We have come close a couple of times, but just haven't found the right one yet. If you are on the fence, or looking for a too-good-to-be-true situation, this is not for you. We cannot sell this position, we can only tell you what we have to offer. I hope the tone of this ad does not distract from the actual need that my family has. There has been a trail of girls using my family to re-locate and dumping them with airline bills, leaving them without someone to help with my sweet little brother who asks "Why did she leave? What's wrong with me?" Truth be told, he could use some consistency, and we are not looking to save anyone, but rather meet someone who might be in need of a place to call home, who loves children, and respects life.

Neat things about my family: My mother makes wine and soda. She loves to renovate, redecorate and upgrade the house. She is very skilled when it comes to upholstering and re-finishing furniture, she has even made a handful of pieces of furniture in the house. My Step-dad is very funny, and a real old-school cowboy. They all love horses, and can teach you to fish and take you on cattle drives (2x a year). One of the nannies was even purchased a season pass to Winter Park to ski with my little brother.

Neat things about the area: There are multiple rivers, ski resorts, hiking/biking/snowmobiling trails, fishing areas, rafting outfits, rodeos, natural hot springs right in town, tubing areas, frisbee golf course, and even a resort with a swimming pool only a 30 minute drive from the house.

About you: You are coming alone, we cannot house any additional children, or spouses, grandchildren or large animals. If you have one dog or cat that is open to discussion. You'd likely want meet their two dogs and two cats to see about compatibility. You are not seeking full time employment elsewhere and a landing space. You are not escaping anything. You are not looking for someone to pay off a current lease. Quite frankly: you are not looking to gain something for nothing.

Please send an email if you would like to discuss this further. I have tried negotiating wages before on my mother's behalf, and have found it to be less problematic if I write the ad, and do the preliminary sifting. I will forward your information to her, so that you may talk directly about the stipend.

Thank you for your time, and we look forward to hearing from you.

I have yet to hear from anyone...

Almost over Halfway to Fifty

Birthdays always get people thinking.  We get excited about the cake and presents when we are young, drivers licenses at 16, emancipation at 18, the big 21 to start torturing our liver, and then...things start to change.  I remember with each birthday I felt a sense of further accomplishment, like I was becoming more credible with each year that passed.  23 sounds better than 22, and so on. 

The reason I'm writing this is because I had my first "Oh my gosh, I'm about to have a birthday," feeling this morning as I drove to my office.

(Side note: My mood is always affected by bad weather, and when there is little sun, I become a bit of an Eeyore)

My thought, as I charged through the rain on my scooter this morning was, "Why am I about to turn 26, and I have so little to show for my eight years of adulthood?!"  I am riding this scooter, that honestly is about to fall apart.  I'm waiting for one screw to fall out and the whole kit to crumble beneath me.  Thank God I'll only be going 23 MPH when it happens.  Almost getting hit for the umpteenth time, and being yelled at to get my "ugly ass out of the way" by a very beautiful woman hurts.  It's hard to ride the scooter, but every single time it rains I have to worry about how I am going to get home, or get to work safely.  When it is cold I dread the 35 minute commute to the point where I consider calling into work and using some paid time off, to just sit at the house and wait for the rain to clear.

I really want something to make me feel special.  Like maybe my ugly ass isn't in the way, or even just make my ugly ass feel a little prettier.

Maybe once in my life get my makeup done at a department store and get colors that match.

Get my hair done.
I'd like to get some new clothes.
I would like to go on a real vacation, no business, no one else's agenda.
A pedicure perhaps?  Manicure?
Some sort of nice treatment...to feel like a girl.  I feel like a scooter riding, ragamuffin.  There is nothing to get dressed up for.  No where to go. 

I have my faith.  I have love.  I have a job.  I have friends. This is about the girlier things in life that I miss :( 

I just want to feel special and have the money (from my job) to afford something pretty or fancy every once in a while. 

While I used to really like birthdays, my 26th is coming at me bittersweet.  I know that it means nothing to people around me, because let's face it, we all have birthdays.  Nothing special about me, who also has one.  But I have lost more than I have gained in the last few years, and would like to feel like that pretty 22 year old who spent the time and had the money to get the occassional pampering.  I'm sick of feeling like a boy, I vaguely remember what it felt like to be treated delicately.  I guess 26 is a more serious age, and I've had enough years to mess things up.  Maybe this will be my year...but....

Today- I am kind of puny.  I guess I'll watch the rain fall and wish that I could afford some glamour in my life.

Homely yours,
Schatzi

It's the end of the world as "they" know it...

I've read, heard, and thought about a lot concerning the May 21st fiasco, and I think I'm finally ready to write from my headspace what I THINK about it all.

A few things struck me as concerning while talking about the potential apocalypse, and what would happen afterward.  If you (the reader) do not already know this, you will forever more know that I am a Christian.  A follower of Christ.  I chose this only after denouncing my faith as an adult (seventeen year old know-it-all) and trying to create happiness through everything else on earth.  Money, drugs, "love", alcohol, sleep, food, etc.  Once invited back to church it was a game-changer for me.  I needed direction, and it had been there all along.  A place of peace, and a message of hope and love that I can carry with me everyday that will not change during times of distress, familial turmoil, dating woes, money complications, or any other horror story we live through day to day.

For those of you who do not believe, I do not blame you- because at one point in my life, I also did not "buy it".  I've heard the questions "Why do bad things happen to good people?"  "Why would a loving God not take everyone?" "What about the people who die before the rapture, will they never have a chance?"  I cannot answer these questions, as I am under qualified.  He has shown me loving-kindness and I see him do the same for people around me daily who are incapable of counting a single blessing.

Now that I have that out of the way, it's time for me to tell the world just how I feel about being scoffed at as either one of the "idiots", "good kids", "saved ones", and all of the other names I have heard of referring to the believers that would in fact ascend should the apocalypse happen.

Fact one: (for non-believers this might come as a surprise) Christians are not brilliant.  They are not perfect.  They are not even all that good.  They just believe in something that is bigger than they are (Jesus) who served more people than I could ever hope to serve.  I'm still not all that good most of the time, but I know where I get my strength to try to be better...

Back to "Christians not being brilliant"- it is important to know that the man (Christian) who predicted the rapture was in fact, an idiot.  If he knew his text, he would realize that the rapture has been promised to happen like "A thief in the night".  In other words, God has promised that no one will know when it is going to happen.  After all of the publicity that guy created, don't you think it would be dumb of Good Ole' God to throw in the towel on all of the other promises he has made, and just let 1/6 of the world population know about it?  Unfortunate example of another one of us boneheads trying to tell other people what to do instead of just showing faith.  I am not putting my retirement into billboards, I'll tell you that much.  I don't even want to scare you into salvation.  Perhaps, if I'm lucky, I will make a positive impact in the lives of many regardless of their religious preference.

For those people who boasted "End of the World Parties" (to which I was invited to ZERO) I hope your hangover was bad on Sunday...not nice?  That is the human in me, not the Christian.
Newsflash: People have been predicting the end of the world- since the beginning of the world. (See previous post re: Signs of the Times)  It is in our nature, and not at all surprising that we spend so much of our time trying to predict something that is completely unpredictable.  Now, we still have to get through the Mayan calendar disaster, but after this last big let down, I think I'm going to spend less time caring about stock market predictions, the rapture, the economic crumble, massive earthquakes, burning man, and coronary heart disease, and start to worry about the stuff that really matters.  Let the Good Lord take me when he will...it just better not be too soon {{{shakes fist at sky}}}

I truly, would have been miffed had it all ended, because I have so much I still want to do with my life.  Please stop comparing me to you and you to me.  I am just a girl who believes in a good God, and hopes to be better tomorrow than I am today.

HE discovers a way to passenger a skateboard companion

This weekend redefined family outing, bonding, teamwork and tenacity.  My guy discovered that with a very long longboard and his 20+ years of thrash experience that he could, in fact, passenger a smaller companion at the front of his board as he skates.

First he tried it with the older of the two girls, the seven year old- who quite frankly, will try anything with a smile on her face and with no hesitation for posterity.  The younger of the two, however, is prone to digging in her heels whenever asked to do something.  (*NOTE: She will even resist if you are telling her to do something in her own favor, like, "Take this popsicle," or "Here, play with your new toy," she simply will not comply. 

I think after seeing her big sister do something SO cool, she wanted to try...and after a small crash, and a minor scare- This is the end result...

I watch this man skate hard, because he's amazing, and loves to show me how good he is at stuff.  Let's face it...every girl wants to see how impressive her guy is.  Every guy wants his girl to see him at his best.  But now to watch him as Skate-Dad, I have an even higher appreciation for the love I have for hisself.

Oooh la la.