Friday, January 7, 2011

Signs of the Times

I haven't posted since September.  Partially because I have been just dancing, floating through the Holidays with an uncompromised Joy that I haven't felt in what seems like a lifetime.  I'm in love.  I am loved.  I feel closer to my family than I ever have.  I feel closer to my friends than I ever have.  I feel closer to God than I have in a long time, but the most noticeable feeling I have is the acceptance and appreciation I have for myself again.  Which leads me to this: worry.


Let me tell you the things I am worried about first, then I'll elaborate.  Laugh first, then investigate.


1) December 12, 2012 the end of the Mayan Calendar
2) The actual crumble of the U.S. economy
3) The apocalypse


So...I can probably just understand that (3) is inevitable and members of my fellowship of Christians have been saying that the "end is near" for centuries...perhaps I should scratch this one off of my list.


The other two show (blatantly) that I am still working on my perfect faith.  Will it ever be "perfect"?  No, but I have to work on it, and I fail sometimes with worry!


(1)    The end of life as "we know it" as predicted by the Mayans.  Ok, so none of them are around today to ask about this phenomenon.  But after speaking with my dad, (who is a real whiz on most things Mayan) I am semi-convinced that his theory is something to worry about.  Let me explain...or try to.  The Mayan calendar ends on December 21, 2011 because they predict that something so catastrophic will take place that "life as we know it will change."  It was not predicted that this will be the end of the world, just that the world as we now know it will be forever changed.  What could change so drastically that we don't even care about a calendar?  I can tell you this folks, I will be in my 27th year of life, and I am not ready to find out!  I don't want to sound like a total spoiled brat here, but if I only get to live in good old humanity as I know it before I'm fishing through trash cans, and hunting for rodents because something apocalyptic happened, I WILL NOT BE HAPPY.

So aside from the damn Mayans who are really throwing a wrench in my Ten Year Plan- I worry about the ECONOMY.  Dang it!  There's that word again, I already wrote a blog on Economy and Eternity and I'm terrified.  But this time- I'm shaking!  My counterpart, Michael Snowball, reminded me today the difference between probable and possible. Thank God for his logic.  I'm getting ahead of myself....


2)    On November 24th, Russia and China made an agreement to no longer trade in the Dollar.  Follow this article for more info: http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2010-11/24/content_11599087.htm



So...if they don't like our money anymore, who's to say other countries like...for instance...SAUDI ARABIA decide they don't want our "Dinky Dollar" anymore either?  America + Oil = Commerce. Comfort for consumers. Travel. Economy.  If we don't have oil (because we get cut off, and we are in DEBT up to our eyeballs), we don't have food.  No food?  Well, I'm not going to kick and scream here people, but I live in Five Points.  My home is the newest home in the Notorious Neighborhood, and if my neighbors were trying to size up who has abundance, by process of elimination alone...We are a target.  We live in a 4 story, (rental) custom built, townhouse with a downtown view and designer fixtures in the middle of the projects.  I had better be able to defend my home, and turn it into a fortress.  But I can't!  I can't stand guns, I get nervous around them even if they aren't loaded.  I cannot wield a knife, I wouldn't get close enough without being shot first.  I have a really bright flashlight with knifey edges so that I can blind and mame someone.  Will that stop them from taking what I have in my home (in a violent fashion), or worse...hurting my family?  No.


So, I guess I'm just a little worried, because I don't know if I would survive if Marshall Law went into effect.  If something apocalyptic happens, or our economy melts down to "depression" I'm going to be mad that I only made it to 25.  I'm going to heaven, but would I kill to stay on Earth?  My skin crawls at the thought.


Should I even be worried about this?